


Out of the Flames

by 5x7fic



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Amnesia, Band Nerd Carmilla, Eating Disorders, F/F, HS AU, Minor Character Death, Photographer Laura, Skateboarder Carmilla, Slow Build, Summer Camp, bonfire romance, cheer camp x band camp AU, cheerleader Laura, lesbian skateboarding, romantic polaroids
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-27 22:44:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5067490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5x7fic/pseuds/5x7fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HS cheer/band camp AU. Laura's a popular, beautiful & seemingly aloof Silas cheerleader with a secret love of photography. Carmilla is a snarky Silas band geek with a heartbreaking past & a penchant for skateboarding. Over the summer they're thrown together in the same dorms for cheer camp & band camp at UCLA where they discover their shared past might mean everything. Romance ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Laura's Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Slight warning for mentions of Laura's struggle with an eating disorder, but no graphic descriptions. Flashback to minor character death in the 2nd chapter.
> 
> This is written by natvanlips.tumblr.com and elisebaeman.tumblr.com. It's our first collaboration so your feedback is very much appreciated.
> 
> Updates every Friday. Enjoy!

**Laura, 1 year earlier, age 16**

Laura was rushing through dinner with more fervor than usual. She tapped her foot incessantly under the table, keeping time to an imaginary rhythm she could feel pulsating inside her. Maybe her constant energy was the result of counting out endless cheer routines, or maybe she just had a tick, but she was antsy and her constant motion was giving her away. Tonight was the night.

She had just gotten her new car today - a brand new red VW Beetle - and she wasn't the kind of girl who was just handed the car keys at 16, either. She had earned that car by executing a throw with a broken ankle in last year's National High School Cheerleading Championship, and she had been perfect. Her face hadn't shown even a flicker of pain as she was tossed high toward the ceiling, flying, spinning in a perfect tight hold and then dropped neatly into the arms of Kirsch, SJ and Betty. The crowd had gone wild, her team had won the championship for the 2nd year running, and she'd been carted off the floor into the waiting bay of an ambulance. She'd spent the rest of that year recovering, but her mother kept her promise, and tonight she was taking that car out to feel the freedom of the open road on the 101.

Her mother eyed her and glanced down at her plate. "You really loaded up on the carbs today," she said. Laura looked down, trying to mask the emotion she felt, the anxiety and disgust she felt when she was forced to think about food.

"My eyes were bigger than my stomach," she said. "Don't worry. Not gonna overdo it."

Evelyn Hollis stared at her daughter for a moment longer and then dropped the subject. She had been a dancer in her day, lithe, tall, and without an ounce of fat brought on by overdoing it on potatoes. Evelyn never had a problem controlling herself. That was the thing about Laura's mother… she was always in control.

Laura gave up on eating their late dinner. She wasn't in the mood anyway, and her mother was clearly on edge about it today. Laura took her plate to the sink, scraped off the excess food, and she could see her mother's shoulders relax at the table. She dropped the plate in the dishwasher, grabbed her keys and with a quick goodbye, she headed out into the warm Los Angeles night.

Laura was sure this was the happiest she'd ever felt. The windows were rolled down, the night was cloudy and the wind was whipping her hair wildly and she sped up on the 101. The air was thick and heavy with a rare forecast of impending rain, but she didn't let that bother her. She raced along, the smell of the sea and the coming storm clearing her head. She saw lightning somewhere in the distance over the pacific. That flash, along with the wind in her hair and the smell of the ocean combined with rain, was the last clear memory Laura had of that night. After that moment, everything was burning, acrid smoke and the spark of wet metal against pavement.

Her next clear memory was waking up in a hospital bed at Cedars-Sinai with a pain in her chest worse than she'd ever felt - and Laura knew injuries. She knew pain. She'd been on a cheer squad practically since she was old enough to stand, and her ankles and wrists had paid the price. But this, this was bad. She looked down, frightened. Her hand was clutched around the cuff of smooth black leather. A leather jacket? She didn't own a leather jacket. Was she dreaming this whole thing? She looked around.

Her mother was reading a book in a corner of the room and Laura remembered feeling shocked at how relieved she seemed at seeing her awake. Laura attempted to lean forward and screamed in pain. A nurse came in just at that moment, and everything after was blurred by the haze of morphine.

* * *

 

**Laura, present day, age 17**

She turned to look down the dark, empty highway. She hugged her black leather jacket tighter around her. In the distance, there was something she couldn't make out. Why were there no other cars on this road? Where was she? But still, she saw the glow in the distance further down this highway. What was that? Curiosity was getting the better of her. She started to walk.

_beep beep beep beep beep._

What was that incessant beeping? And why was there beeping at all, here in this heavy silent place, this long dark road she always dreamed of? Wait… dream. This was a dream. Something in her mind clicked then, and the beeping got louder.

_Shit._

Laura's eyes popped open and the dark road was gone instantly. Instead, she stared up at her ceiling, the California sunshine drenching her room and making her squint and rub her eyes. She was tangled in her pale pink bed sheets, her honey blonde hair wild and a complete mess. It was a beautiful morning, and she could hear kids outside yelling and laughing, already enjoying the early days of their summer break.

_Shit. She was late._

She kicked her legs and freed herself from her sheets. Laura was a frenzy of movement then. Her plan to get up early to finish packing was obviously a complete failure - now she had 10 minutes at the most to gather the last of the belongings she would need for 4 weeks at UCLA's annual summer cheer camp. She moved around her room randomly throwing things into her duffle - hair ties, bows, ace bandages, her water bottle - shit, where were her shoes? Everything was thrown haphazardly into the bag.

She slowed for a moment. She'd purposefully waited until the last minute to pack her camera. It was her most prized possession, and she liked seeing it sitting on her desk across the room when she fell asleep.

Ever since the night of the accident, Laura's memory had never fully crystalized about what happened to her. She'd never experienced that before, the feeling of being completely betrayed by her own mind. She was a solid student, she got mostly Bs but she didn't have trouble with schoolwork. It came easily to her. She could quickly memorize a new cheer routine and never had trouble remembering where she left her phone or her keys. She wasn't a forgetful person. But that night was like a blank spot in her head. It haunted her. Ever since then, as she was recovering in the hospital, she started reading about photography. It didn't make sense logically, but Laura vowed to herself during her recovery that she would never forget another life-changing moment. She would document her world in photographs, just in case her traitorous mind failed her again.

She knew someone had pulled her from that car. There was no other explanation for her survival, no other scenario that fit. Besides, there was the jacket. The worn, beautifully soft black leather jacket she'd woken up with in the hospital, and it wasn't hers. She was told later it had been covering her when she'd been loaded into the ambulance, and she believed it. But she had no independent memory of it, and that bothered her. It stuck in the back of her mind and annoyed her like a pebble stuck in her shoe. Someone had saved her, and she had accepted by now that she would probably never know her rescuer.

But she had that leather jacket as a reminder, and she had her camera to make sure she'd never forget again.

Laura shook her head to clear her mind. She carefully picked up her camera and lens and put it inside its special padded case. She dumped the case into her duffle and grabbed her instant camera as well just for fun. She dropped the bag on the floor near the small rolling suitcase that was (thankfully) already packed the night before, leather jacket tucked safely inside. She pulled her hair into a high, tight ponytail. She added a giant ribbon bow and looked at herself in the mirror, rocking a little on the balls of her feet, stretching her toned calves. Yup… she looked like she was ready for cheer camp.

With that she grabbed her keys and her phone and dragged her stuff and herself out the front door.


	2. Carmilla's Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs used in this chapter:  
> \- Pink Floyd - Sorrow  
> \- Taylor Swift feat. Civil Wars - Safe and Sound  
> \- Wicked Cast - For Good

**Carmilla, 1 year earlier, age 16**

Carmilla was playfully fighting with her mother, Lilita, over the musical selection on their drive home on the 101 from the courthouse. The court had finally approved Lilita to adopt Carmilla after so many years of waiting, and Carmilla felt such a high knowing that she would never again have to worry about being pulled from a home she felt safe in. She switched the radio to the classic rock station; her favorite band, Pink Floyd, took her away as she stared out the window at the ominous clouds.

The rain came down like a monsoon before they realized the dark clouds had caught up to them. Lilita glanced over at Carmilla to ensure she still had her seatbelt buckled. Carmilla, lost in the music, softly sang

_The sweet smell of a great sorrow lies over the land_

_Plumes of smoke rise and merge into the leaden sky..._

"I don't think this storm will let up anytime soon," Lilita said, jostling Carmilla out of her haze. Carmilla glanced around, barely able to see out of the windows of their Chevy Tahoe. Lilita, noticing a movie theatre up ahead, put on her blinker.

"Let's catch a movie and wait this storm out in style. What do you say, love?"

A huge grin spread on Carmilla's face as she eagerly accepted, happy to get out of the monstrous storm.

Tires screeching. Lilita yelling. The world flipping upside down. Silence.

Carmilla had blacked out, for how long she wasn't sure; when she came to she could hear Lilita's voice screaming her name. Looking around, Carmilla began to panic as the scene unfolded in front of her. She was hanging upside down, her left arm bent in a not-so-comfortable way... her side screaming in pain... blood dripping from several gashes covering her body. She looked over at Lilita who gave a slight smile to comfort Carmilla.

"Mom! Mom! Wh-What do I do?" Carmilla gasped as she stared at Lilita, huge shrapnel from the 18-wheeler deeply penetrating her stomach, a crimson river of blood flowing swiftly into a pool below.

Lilita looked deep into Carmilla's eyes. "Carm, we're stuck under the 18-wheeler that hit us. Are you able to unbuckle your seatbelt?"

Carmilla, unable to move her left arm without excruciating pain, slid her right hand over to her seatbelt buckle and clicked it. The belt released and she immediately fell to the ground, glass shards slicing her exposed skin. Carmilla could feel the radiating heat from the 18-wheeler; she felt as if her skin was melting off. She crawled over to Lilita, ignoring the pain, and tried to unbuckle her seatbelt.

"Carmilla, you have to get out of this car. Gasoline is dripping out from the gas tank and it's only a matter of time before it reaches the fire."

Ignoring Lilita, Carmilla picked up her pocket knife and attempted to saw her way through the seatbelt strap. Carmilla was determined. She wouldn't give up her happy ending. She would not give up on Lilita. She could fix this.

Lilita, voice stronger this time, lifted her hand and placed it over Carmilla's, causing the sawing action to pause. Tears streaming down her eyes, Carmilla looked at Lilita, eyes frantic.

"Mom, tell me what I can do... please! I'm not leaving you! Please... Mom! We can do this... I can fix this."

Lilita just looked at her as a sadness washed over her heart. She knew the only possible outcome to this situation. Knowing she had to be strong for Carmilla, she took a deep breath, coughing up blood in the process.

"Carmilla, I need you to listen to me," Lilita wheezed. Carmilla held her breath, listening to every word Lilita spoke. "Carmilla, I love you very much. Raising you the past 5 years has been such a blessing. Finally being approved to be your legal parent has been a dream come true." Lilita coughs harder this time, more blood spraying her surroundings. "I need you to leave this car, right now. I'll be fine. I promise. But you..."

Lilita gasped, trying to control the waiver in her voice and the tears threatening to fall. "You have to save yourself. You've fought too hard for too long- please, for me, get out of this vehicle now." Carmilla, her heart pounding as the realization of their situation sunk in, crawled as close to Lilita as possible. Using her free arm, Lilita pulled Carmilla in for a hug and gently placed her hand on the side of Carmilla's face, tenderly wiping Carmilla's tears away. "I love you, Carmilla. Continue making me proud. Listen to the music in your heart. Let it guide you, as you always have. Now go, quickly!" Carmilla sobbed deeply, placing a kiss upon Lilita's forehead as she said, "I love you, Mom. Thank you for always believing in me and seeing the real me under the facade."

With one last, lingering look, Carmilla crawled out of the vehicle. The fire was spreading rapidly; she swore she was on fire herself. Her hands finally reached past the window onto the pavement, pulling her out of the Tahoe and onto the wet concrete road. Carmilla stood up and walked to the side of the road just as the Tahoe caught fire and erupted in flames. She shook, whether from shock or the pouring rain she didn't know... perhaps a mix of both. As she stared in disbelief at what was her Tahoe, where her mother was now so obviously dead... her trance was broken by a slight moan.

Carmilla quickly walked over to the red VW Bug also involved in the accident, though nowhere near as bad as her Tahoe, thankfully. She peeked in and saw a girl around her age, honey colored hair matted with sticky blood, one eye swollen shut and face bruised with garish purple splotches.

"Hey, there. Are you okay?" Carmilla asked.

The stranger turned her head toward Carmilla, her non-swollen eye struggling to stay open. Carmilla saw the deep head wound just as the stranger gave a light grunt and passed out in front of her.

"Bloody hell," Carmilla muttered. She realized in that moment that she was looking at Laura Hollis, the head cheerleader of Silas High School.

Carmilla glanced around. They were still the only ones on the 101, but she could hear the faint wail of sirens. Carmilla took a deep breath, hoping those sirens were for them. Her phone was nowhere to be found and she knew Laura was in desperate need of medical attention. She opened the car door and unfastened Laura's seatbelt. Wincing in pain from what was surely a broken arm and probably a few broken ribs, Carmilla felt a rush of adrenaline as she pushed through the pain and lifted the petite cheerleader out of the car, careful not to bump her head, and carried her a safe distance to safety.

Carmilla laid Laura on the ground as the rain continued to pour without an end in sight. Laura stirred and glanced up into Carmilla's face. As they locked eyes, Carmilla could see the terror and confusion on the girl's face. Carmilla bent down, her right arm holding her left and grimacing at the pain in her ribs.

"Hey there... you're going to be okay."

The young girl began to seize. Her lips and fingernails had a bluish tint and Carmilla could tell she was going into shock. Once the seizure slowed, Carmilla sat down completely, pulling the shivering cheerleader into her arms, lightly draping her beloved black leather jacket around the girl for extra security and warmth. As they sat there, the girl drifting in and out of consciousness, Carmilla began to sing

_...Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be all right_

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound..._

* * *

"I'm truly sorry for your loss," the Funeral Director said as he welcomed Mattie and Carmilla into his office.

Smiling grimly, Mattie shook his hand and sat down. Carmilla, anxiety-ridden and her arm in a cast, stood in the doorway unsure of her feelings. The Funeral Director cleared his throat uncomfortably and opened a small envelope. A platinum necklace slid into his hand. Curiosity sparked, Carmilla slowly made her way over to the other two and had to sit down when she saw what it was. In his hand was a platinum chain with an anchor and the following engraving, in teeny tiny letters:

_...I've heard it said_ _that people come into our lives for a reason..._

_...And we are led_   _t_ _o those who help us most to grow_ _..._

_...But I know I'm who I am today_   _b_ _ecause I knew you..._

_Love you always, Carm_

Seeing Carmilla's reaction, the Funeral Director gently handed the necklace to her and simply said, "This was found at the accident site and we didn't want to give it to the family until we were able to have it properly cleaned. It's clearly a very cherished item."

Carmilla broke into tears. Mattie stoked her back lovingly and reached over to clasp the necklace around Carmilla's neck. She knew what that necklace meant. Carmilla had worked hard four summers ago to earn money for it and convinced Mattie, who was 17 at the time, to help her buy it and get it engraved. It was a special gift for Lilita, the first foster house Carmilla had been a resident in for longer than a month. Lilita was a special woman. She knew how to bring out the best in even the worst of the foster kids given to her. Mattie smiled at the memory of her previous foster mom then reached over and held her sister's hand.

* * *

**Carmilla, present day, age 17**

Beats headphones on, hands racing maniacally up and down her electronic keyboard, Carmilla didn't notice the person standing in the doorframe yelling at her. Finally a tap on her shoulder made Carmilla give pause to her creation and she slipped her headphones off.

"Mattie said you better get a move on if you don't want to be late, sis," William said.

She grabbed her brother into a big hug. "Okay, I'll be right down for breakfast after I jot down this killer bridge I just composed," she said.

Carmilla opened her Moleskine, furiously writing lyrics and notes from her latest creation. She slammed the notebook shut and placed it into her dark purple Jansport backpack along with her headphones and other knickknacks.

Carmilla stood up and stretched, her shirt rising up to show off her toned stomach. She picked up her red flannel and slipped it on, straightened her beanie, and grabbed her skateboard. Looking around her room, she took a deep breath and repeated silently, "You can do this. You can do this." She grabbed her backpack and the handle to her luggage, she wheeled the suitcase out of the room and headed to the kitchen.

She dropped her stuff by the front door and paused to breathe in a heavenly smell - cinnamon pancakes and maple syrup. Her favorite. Mattie glanced up and gave her a huge smile.

"Ah, so the bloodsucker can come out in daytime!" she teased.

Carmilla rolled her eyes. "Just because I happen to have my brilliant moments in the wee hours of the morning does not mean that I'm a vampire, Mattie."

Mattie and Carmilla chuckled as Carmilla wrapped her arms around Mattie, thanking her for breakfast. Carmilla sat down at the table and felt lucky to be in her home despite the headache of the past year. Mattie had been named caretaker of both she and William in the event something happened to Lilita.

Obviously Mattie wasn't expecting to be in a parental role at the age of 22.

Mattie was finishing up law school, working a paid internship in the hopes of being chosen to remain at the firm she represented, and doing her best not to fuck up Will and Carm's lives any more than they had been already. She sighed, thankful that the settlement from the accident at least provided them enough money through Lilita's estate to pay off the house so the kids could remain in their stable environment. Not having a mortgage was a huge relief for Mattie; it was hard enough ensuring she had money for bills and food. Still, they made it each month. Carmilla would receive her settlement money, 3.5 million dollars, once she turned 18. Mattie knew Carmilla would rather have their mother back, but she was glad Carmilla had money to take care of herself.

After washing the dishes and taking out the trash, Carmilla washed her hands and gave Will and Mattie big hugs. "I'll see you guys in a month," she said. Carmilla put on her aviator sunglasses and checked her reflection in the mirror. With a slight nod of approval, Carmilla kissed the anchor charm around her neck, picked up her luggage, and headed out the front door to her car, a 2015 black SS Camaro. Smiling, she said, "Hello Phoenix; it's time to blow this joint."

Carmilla was more than ready for band camp this year; she was a chosen drum major for senior year and that meant learning new and exciting things at camp. She popped open the sunroof, buckled her seatbelt, shuffled her iPod to her favorite Pink Floyd album, and took off into the sunrise.


	3. Laura's First Day

“Girls, that was lazy! Get it together! Start again!” the coach yelled into her bullhorn.

Laura, along with about 50 other cheerleaders, sprinted back to her starting position on the field and counted out a beat. Their strong claps seemed instantly swallowed by the thick humidity of the cloudy Los Angeles afternoon. They launched into the opening choreography again without complaint, each person trying to bring more effort to the performance. Laura forced her best cheer smile and put energy into her shout, but her mind was on getting up in the air.

Becoming a flyer on her squad was the first time Laura ever truly felt like being small was an advantage. When she realized her slight build made her the perfect candidate to execute some of the most daring aerial stunts in cheerleading, she had never felt so alive. It gave her everything she needed and craved - a daring excitement that she couldn’t find anywhere else. The first time Betty and Kirsch had launched her into a basket toss and she landed in their arms with perfect precision, she was hooked. They had just been babies then, cheering at pee wee football games, back when no one was scared of falling. Laura always tried to tap into that fearless feeling.

With a fluidity that spoke of endless repetition together on their home squad, Laura moved  quickly toward Betty and Kirsch with their friend SJ stepping behind the group to back-spot the stunt. They opened their hands to prepare for a simple prep and elevator. Her bases would lift her into the air, and she would stand atop them and execute a few standing extensions.

As she finished her last extension, the humid wind picked up and somewhere in the distance, thunder rumbled like a threat. The sound shook her to her core and she looked at the horizon. The momentary lapse in focus was enough to shift too much of her weight toward Betty, and suddenly Kirsch was pulled forward as Betty tumbled to the grass. Laura landed next to her with a thud. She was slow to get up, which the coach took for a possible injury. 

“Stop! Everyone stop! Christ, Laura, are you okay?” The coach was running over to them with equal parts concern and annoyance. "Kirsch, what WAS that?” 

Physically Laura was fine, but she sat there for a moment stunned to have screwed up such a simple stunt on the first day of camp. The rest of the campers either smirked as they looked on or lost interest and went for water on the sidelines.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Laura said, getting up quickly and helping Betty up as well. “And it wasn’t Kirsch. I was distracted and my weight shifted right."

Kirsch didn’t say anything, but he gave her a quick nod of thanks for not letting him take all the blame.

The coach squinted at the three of them and put her hands on her hips. “Okay fine, but pull it together please,” she said. Then she turned and raised her voice to the rest of the camp. “Who said you could have a water break?! You get water when I get 20 clapping pushups and 10 backflips. STARTING NOW. GO!"

“Oh now look what you did,” Betty teased as she dropped to the ground and started her pushups.

Just as Laura dropped to the ground as well, she heard another noise in the distance. This time it wasn’t thunder at all - it was a terrible cacophony of ringing, dinging, pounding and tapping. _Oh fantastic,_ she thought.  _The band geeks._  She started her backflips just as those nerds took over the other end of the field. 

* * *

It was only the end of the first day and Laura was completely exhausted. Unfortunately, it was the type of exhaustion that left her too rattled to sleep, and she walked over to the dorm window to get a look at the weather outside. It was still cloudy, but it wasn’t going to storm any time soon. She had already showered, but instead of putting on her pajamas for a night in as originally planned, she put on her favorite pair of skinny jeans, a white tank top and a pink plaid button down. She slipped on her soft old Toms, grabbed her camera bag and her keys and left the room before Betty could return from the showers. She liked Betty, but she didn’t feel like explaining why she wanted to go out again after 8 solid hours of practice.

A short 20 minute drive later, Laura was climbing out of her car at Venice Skate Park, one of her favorite places in the world to take photographs. She was in love with the way she could see and hear the waves just over the edge of the bowls. She loved the scrape of wood and wheels against concrete, the _smack_  of shoes against the board as a skater landed a trick. She loved the feel and the energy and the poetic motion of it all.

She sat down on the edge of a bowl and snapped a few images, documenting the scene for memory.

From across the park, she immediately noticed a lanky girl with dark curly hair flying toward her bowl. Why did she seem so familiar? Laura came here often but she didn’t ever really interact with anyone. This was her Zen spot where she didn’t have to plaster on a smile or seem upbeat. She didn’t really come here to make friends. Laura raised her camera again and captured a shot of the girl in the distance, lazily looping in and out of some of the smaller bowls but still generally moving her way.

The dark haired girl was sorta pretty, Laura would give her that. She wore a flannel shirt that trailed along behind her in the breeze, and a knit beanie kept some of her unruly hair in check. It was a beauty completely different from her own, something wild and free and unkempt. Laura pondered briefly what it must be like not to have to wear a ponytail and bow (standard unspoken cheer hair rules) 90% of the time. She let her thoughts wander as she turned her attention to her camera screen, replaying back the last few images.

Laura was so lost in her pictures that she didn’t notice the girl dropping down into her bowl until she was whizzing up the wall nearest to her, cresting the edge and dropping her board on the  ledge up top where Laura sat. Laura looked up, blinking, and the dark haired skater chick was staring right down at her, a smile quirked on her pale features. The girl tapped the back of her board with her foot, popping it up into her hand, and dropped down to sit way too close.

“Hey stalker,” she said with a smile. “Don’t most people like, ask before they take someone’s picture?"

Laura stared. Okay, so she was pretty. Really pretty. She was also really familiar. She knew that wild hair from something… suddenly it hit her. This girl was on the field with her today - the _other_  end of the field. This girl was a band nerd. How was a girl this pretty a band nerd?

Laura sidestepped the question entirely. “Aren’t you in band at Silas?"

The girl was momentarily taken aback - at what, Laura wasn’t sure. Maybe she’d gotten it wrong? Maybe she wasn’t one of the kids from the field today?

She recovered quickly, though. “Carmilla. You’re Laura.” It wasn’t a question.

“Surprised you know my name,” Laura said.

“Cupcake, you’re one of the most popular girls in school. I think everyone knows your name,” Carmilla said with a smirk. "Besides, I think we shared home room or something in 7th. The real question is, what are you doing slumming it here at the skate park?" Carmilla asked. 

Laura's mouth pressed into a slight frown as she realized she had no memory of that at all. She felt no recognition other than a vague sense of familiarity, but she pushed that aside and thought for a moment about Carmilla's comment on her popularity. Laura knew intellectually that she had a lot of the qualities required for someone to be considered popular. She was a cheerleader, she was decent looking, and she had a good circle of friends. She shot down a lot of requests for dates. But somehow the idea that someone whom she’d never really met would know her name - that thought struck her as hilarious.

She laughed out loud. “I don’t know, I think people assume I’m a lot more popular than I am,” she said, and her laughter softened into a smile. She almost looked sad for a moment. “Nice to meet you Carmilla. And if you think Venice is slumming it, I don’t think you’ve been to some of the more interesting parts of LA,” she said, her eyes sparkling again.

Carmilla smiled and Laura waved her camera slightly as she continued. “So yeah no, not slumming it. I just love taking pictures of the skaters. I’m thinking about doing a photo series on you.” Her eyes widened immediately with realization at what she’d said and how it sounded. She sputtered “….not you. I mean, them. You as in the skaters." 

Carmilla burst out laughing and Laura loved the way it sounded. It sounded like this girl didn’t care at all about anything in the world, and that was so appealing.

“Babe, if you want to take photos of me, all you have to do is ask,” she said. And she winked. She honest to god winked at Laura and Laura hadn’t felt a spark like that in… well, she had never felt anything quite like that ever. In one swift motion Carmilla stood up, stepped onto her board, and teetered _just_  on the edge of the bowl.

“See you on the field tomorrow, Miss Popular,” she said, and she dropped into the bowl and was gone.


	4. Carmilla's Second Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much to everyone who has read, reviewed, given kudos, reblogged. We are overwhelmed and encouraged by your feedback. In today's chapter we have Carmilla being an adorable little shit + little kid Laura and Carm. Enjoy.

“Okay, guys, this is the summer we’ve been waiting for since freshman year! It’s our turn to lead with pride and show all those other schools what the Silas Devils are made of! This is OUR year to win Squad of the Summer!” Perry exclaimed as she huddled with her bandmates before marching practice began.

Carmilla rolled her eyes at her friend’s exuberant attitude, though internally she wished for the same thing. Carmilla was tired of being second best; it wasn’t good enough for her. She needed to win. She needed to succeed. She needed to feel… she wasn’t really sure what she needed to feel. She just knew there was something missing inside her soul.

As they huddled with the 50-or-so other band campers from various high schools around the state, Danny sighed heavily.

Carmilla took a look at her best friend and said, “Yo, beanstalk, what’s the deal?”

Looking over at Carmilla, Danny only had only one word to say: “Cheerleaders.”

Carmilla glanced across the field and saw Laura practicing a routine with a few other squad members from their school. Carmilla arched her eyebrow, her mouth forming a devilish grin.

“Uh oh, Carmilla has that ‘scathingly brilliant idea’ grin on her face, aka her 'I want to torture some poor unfortunate soul' look,” said LaFontaine.

Carmilla’s friends knew her too well. She, like many other band geeks, had a volatile relationship with the cheerleaders at Silas. It was totally justified on their end; the cheerleaders were constantly making their lives hell at school. It was quite annoying, seeing as the band was the sole reason the cheerleaders even had music to perform to. Carmilla rolled her eyes as she remembered catching Betty and SJ (they were the worst!) terrorizing some poor frosh after last year’s first football game. Carmilla, naturally, stepped in with Danny and had to laugh as those cheerleaders took one look at the 6’2” amazon and ran off in double time. Cheerleaders weren’t Carmilla’s favorite… but there was one cheerleader who had caught her eye since the first day of 7th grade.

* * *

 

**Carmilla’s first day of 7th grade, age 12**

Carmilla had moved in with Lilita over the summer and still wasn’t sure how permanent the living situation would be. Feeling lonely and claustrophobic in her gigantic new school, Carmilla hid underneath the football bleachers to catch her breath before school started. What she didn’t plan for, though, was running into the most beautiful and sincere-looking honey blonde she’d ever met. The girl looked up at Carmilla and gave a grim smile of understanding.

“First day jitters?” the beautiful girl asked.

Sucking in a deep breath, Carmilla glanced up and nodded her head.

“Yeah, me too. I’m Laura Hollis!” the girl said.

She smiled at Carmilla. A shy smile crept onto Carmilla’s face as she shook Laura’s hand and introduced herself. Before they could continue their conversation, the warning bell rang and Laura’s eyes widened with worry.

“Crap!” she said. "I don’t even know where to go for homeroom!” she admitted, clumsily spilling her grape soda all over her map of their school.

Carmilla couldn’t help herself and she busted out laughing, eyes crinkling with adoration at Laura. Reaching into her back pocket, Carmilla pulled out her map and said, “No need to fret, cutie. Take mine.”

Laura excitedly hugged Carmilla and thanked her. As a gesture of her appreciation, she reached into her backpack and pulled out a few cookies to give to Carmilla. Standing there, speechless, Carmilla just stared at the cookies - it was the first time someone at any of the schools she’d attended in her short life had given her something for no reason - as a soft thank you escaped her lips.

* * *

 

**Carmilla, present day**

Carmilla smirked, pulled Danny and LaF into a huddle, and whispered her plan. They would cause extra annoyance to the cheerleaders by having their squad perform their drill counting and chant extremely loud. She knew this would inspire the other band campers to challenge their sound and raise the decibel as each high school band tried to outdo the other.

Carmilla’s squad took the field and looked to Perry for direction. However, before she could launch into their warm up drills, Carmilla yelled, “Hey, Red! How ‘bout we show those other schools how loud the Devils can be? Make them sweat in their pants a bit knowing we’re going to win this year.”

Perry thought for a moment, a huge smile spreading over her face as she eagerly agreed. In hindsight, Carmilla displaying any sort of school pride should have been a forewarning that she had something up her sleeve.

Clearing her throat, Perry yelled, “OKAY DEVILS! Let’s show these suckers our school pride! Let’s show them we are NOT to be tamed this summer!” Chuckling to herself, Carmilla grasped her alto saxophone and stood at attention with her friends as they began to chant repeatedly, growing louder each time:

_Feet together!_  
_Stomach in!_  
_Chest out!_  
_Shoulders back!_  
_Chin up!_  
_Eyes with Pride!_  
_Eyes with Pride!!  
_ _Eyes with Pride!!!_

Carmilla glanced over at Laura, who had stopped practicing along with the rest of the cheer squad. She could see that Laura’s arms were crossed, but she couldn’t make out the expression on the cheerleader’s face. Carmilla smirked. She yelled at the top of her lungs over the shouting and chanting of the other band members, “See, I told you I’d see you on the field, Cupcake!”

Laura just gasped as she glanced around nervously, hoping no one knew Carmilla was talking about her.

Betty walked over with SJ, an annoyed look on her face as she scoffed, “Who the fuck does that band geek think she is? Looks like we will need to take her down a peg or two this summer.” SJ nodded in agreement.

Laura didn’t reply as her mind replayed the previous day at the skate park and that slight spark she felt ignited in her stomach again.

_What’s happening to me?_ Laura wondered. She turned her attention back to her squad, determined to focus.

Once practice was over and Carmilla had showered, she dressed in a pair of black leather pants that she knew accentuated her extremely toned legs, slid into her favorite top (a size-too-small black Pink Floyd shirt), and laced up her black combat boots. Looking in the mirror, Carmilla was satisfied as she scrunched her curls, placed her black glasses on her face, and picked up her backpack.

After a short walk, she settled into a quiet spot in the shade under a large Chinese fringe tree. Carmilla opened her backpack and pulled out her headphones, iPod, pen, and notebook. Scrolling through her playlists, she selected the one titled “Rip Your Heart Out.”

She closed her eyes, feeling the light breeze as it flowed all around her, and just sat still. Sometimes, if she sat still long enough, she could see Lilita again… the memories hurt. It was so easy to push them out of her mind, but that was an injustice toward her mother. Her fingers began to slowly move, as if they were playing an imaginary piano, her heart breaking as lyrics began flowing through her mind. She opened her eyes, scribbling the lyrics down as fast as she could, tears blotting the ink on her paper.

_Playground school bell rings again_  
_Rain clouds come to play again_  
_Has no one told you she’s not breathing?_  
_Hello, I’m your mind giving you someone to talk to_  
_Hello_

_If I smile and don’t believe_  
_Soon I know I’ll wake from this dream_  
_Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken_  
_Hello, I’m the lie living for you so you can hide_  
_Don’t cry_

_Suddenly I know I’m not sleeping_  
_Hello, I’m still here_  
_All that’s left of yesterday_

Laura watched, unseen, as her broody friend (could she call her that?) began humming a tune. When she looked closer, Laura could see that Carmilla had her eyes closed and appeared to be conducting something. Based on the look of sadness and grief that washed over Carmilla’s face, she had a feeling that something was not for band camp.

It was heartbreaking to watch as Carmilla began scribbling furiously in her notebook, tears streaming down her face. Laura wasn’t sure what to make of this side of Carmilla. What happened to make the fearless, wiseass, skateboard-loving-band-geek breakdown like this?

Laura decided it was best to leave Carmilla alone. She quietly made her way back to the dorms, her mind full of questions. She pondered what she could do to help her friend.


	5. The caf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Laura just can't seem to help herself when it comes to taking pictures of Carm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your encouraging feedback. Hit us up (elisebaeman and natvanlips on tumblr). :)

Even in her 17 short years, Laura knew there were lots of different kinds of frustration.

There was the frustration of futility, watching her mother cook a meal she knew she had no intention of eating. There was the frustration of impatience, laying in bed watching pointless soaps as she waited for her bones and ligaments to heal.

But there was no frustration she had felt, past or present, like watching Carmilla smirk at her across the football field in Drake Stadium.

It wasn’t entirely unpleasant, that much she would admit. But hearing that curly-haired girl call her ‘cupcake' in front of her entire squad earlier that day had spiked adrenaline inside her.

She’d pushed it down and channeled it elsewhere, intent on ignoring this new form of pain-in-the-ass. Like she didn’t have enough of that, with Betty playfighting Kirsch at every pause in practice and SJ constantly on her cell phone, arguing with god-knows-which boyfriend of the week.

Still, there was the moment in the quad - that horrible, terrifying moment when she’d seen Carmilla crying. Laura felt almost guilty, like she’d read someone’s diary. She WAS sitting in a public place though, the other half of Laura’s brain reasoned.

She closed her eyes for a few seconds to clear her thoughts and pushed through the double doors of the Covel Commons cafeteria. Betty, SJ and Kirsch were already lounging around a dining table, their trays littered with various choices from the food line. She waved and went to pick out her own meal - arguably the most stressful part of her day.

The frustration of imperfection. This type of frustration she knew well. No matter what she chose, she heard her mother’s voice in her head telling her its nutritional deficits or how even though the food might be healthy, the portion size was much too large. She lingered in line, staring. Her anxiety grew as people entered the line behind her, and she grabbed a plain chicken breast, steamed broccoli and a kale salad. Same as yesterday. Pretty much the same as every day since she could remember.

“Hey nerds,” Laura greeted her friends as she sat down with her tray.

“Laura, oh my god,” Betty started in immediately. “Kirsch thinks that guy Brad on the Evansfield squad is hot and gay. I think he’s just hot. What do you think?” She lazily dredged a french fry through some ketchup and popped it in her mouth.

“Come ON Betty, he’s definitely gay,” Kirsch whined. “Did you see his little strut after he nailed the catch on that last basket toss? That is not a straight-guy celebration,” he said. “That was a shimmy worthy of a gay pride parade."

“I agree with Betty,” SJ said, distractedly texting someone on her phone. “Confused. But straightsville.”

Laura smiled to herself as they continued arguing amongst themselves. Her friends were catty and sassy and weird, but she loved them. They always made her feel less alone. 

Kirsch looked stricken. “But I wanted him to be my cuddle buddy at the bonfire!"

The bonfire was one of the best nights of the summer. Every year, the campers went out to the beach for a big party to mark the end of their first week. It kicked off a weekend of relaxation before week 2 hit them like a freight train. Laura loved the bonfire social. The glow of the fire, the beach sunset and the fun atmosphere filled her with an indescribable warmth.

“You know who’s definitely gay, though?” Betty mused. Laura was knocked out of her bonfire fantasies and back into the present moment. “That creepy band girl who keeps checking you out, Laura."

“Ooooh!” Kirsch said, playing for the dramatic. “Band geek with a crush on a cheerleader? That’s original,” he snorted.

Laura kept her face composed and neutral. She took a thoughtful bite of her chicken, then regarded Kirsch seriously. She knew exactly how she wanted to deflect this situation.

“Actually Kirsch, I heard she’s hooking up with Brad. Sorry,” she said. Her face was stone serious and she gave a little sympathetic shrug.

SJ broke first and laughter spilled out of her at Kirsch’s horrified expression. Laura finally cracked a smile as Betty giggled and Kirsch threw a pile of napkins at her, which just fluttered around the table uselessly.

While her friends were distracted and laughing at Kirsch, Laura glanced up to see the dark haired skater in question push her way out the doors of the caf with an apple and a soda. Without thinking too hard about her decision, Laura stood up and gathered her things. 

“Okay, while I’d love to continue debating peoples’ sexualities with you, I’ve gotta turn in some paperwork to coach,” she lied. “I’ll see you guys at the bonfire tonight."

With that, she headed out the door after Carmilla.

“Um, hey!” Laura called out, suddenly unsure of herself now that she’d caught up to Carmilla. She followed her out of the caf on impulse and now realized she had no plan whatsoever. Carmilla turned around, surprise briefly passing over her features before she settled on her trademark smirk.

“Hey princess, how was practice?” Carmilla said, lifting one eyebrow. The sad girl from the quad was nowhere to be seen. This was funny, confident skater Carm. This she could deal with.

“Oh, you know how it goes. Short skirts, fast flips and unsolicited catcalls… the usual,” she smiled. Carmilla was clearly pleased at her decision to banter back.

“Sounds like a good day,” she said. She remembered the apple in her hand and gestured with it. “So, I was just on my way to have lunch, you wanna join me?"

“Sure,” Laura said, and they started to walk together. “Is that all you’re going to eat for lu…” She stopped when she realized where they were heading on their short walk. “Under the bleachers? Really?” she said.

“It’s where I have all my best meals,” Carmilla grinned and winked suggestively. Laura couldn’t keep the horrified expression off her face, and Carmilla quickly continued. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I just like the shade and the calm here at this time of day. Besides, I do have some fond memories of a spot sorta like this one."

Carmilla seemed so relaxed. Laura thought the two of them seemed so separate; her pressures were so different than Carmilla’s, so much farther away. Laura felt like she got swept immediately into the rushing current of high school life while Carmilla just watched from the shore. 

Carmilla bit into her apple, then held it out to offer Laura a bite. Laura was taken aback at someone offering her food. I’ve spent too much time around cheerleaders, she thought, if someone offering me food is shocking. 

Instead of taking the apple, Laura reached into her bag and pulled out her instant camera. Before Carmilla had a chance to react, Laura looked through the viewfinder to take in the scene - Carmilla’s wild hair blowing lightly in the wind, the red of the apple in her hand against her black t-shirt, her pale skin and red lips and the shadows of the bleachers in the midday sun. Laura took a breath, held it, and snapped a photograph.


	6. The bonfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein our girls go stargazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so, so much fun to write. We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it.

Carmilla was flying down the ramp with Danny rapidly approaching behind her. As Carmilla glanced over at her best friend for a split second, she gave a wink before she launched into a railslide 360. Once she made it to the top of the next bowl, she stopped skating and moved to the side to wait for Danny. Carmilla glanced toward the beach and saw the unofficial annual bonfire in full swing, complete with drunk cheerleaders hoping to get laid and equally drunk band geeks hoping to provide the cheerleaders with a viable option. The sun was just beginning to set and as darkness fell, the bonfire glowed even brighter. Sighing, she took a seat and looked over as Danny popped up her board and hopped down next to Carmilla.

“Dude! For a goofy-foot, you sure have some moves,” Danny said.

Carmilla just grunted and continued staring off into the darkness. Danny followed Carmilla’s gaze toward the bonfire.

“It’s amazing how something so absolutely beautiful can have such a devastating effect when you get too close... too enamored... with it,” Danny continued. She knew why Carmilla was silent. She knew why Carmilla opted to stay as far away from the bonfire as possible.

* * *

 

**Danny, 1 year earlier, age 16**

Danny remembered rushing to the hospital, heart pounding faster than she’d ever felt it beat before. She didn’t know what happened exactly; all she knew was Mattie sounded absolutely hysterical on the phone. Thoughts were flying through her mind as she sat at the red light for what seemed like an eternity. Sweat trickled down her forehead into her eyes. Her fingers drummed the steering wheel as she silently willed the light to turn green. Once the light changed, she threw the car into gear and sped off.

When she arrived at Cedars-Sinai hospital, she ran into the emergency room, eyes scanning the waiting area intently for Mattie. Once Mattie came into view, Danny was taken aback by the disheveled appearance of the usually well-put-together law student. Rushing to Mattie, Danny took one look into her eyes and knew whatever happened to Carmilla was bad… really bad. Danny’s heart dropped into her stomach.

Mattie looked up at Danny, her warm chestnut eyes tear-stained and full of grief. “Danny!” Mattie exclaimed, standing up and pulling her into a tight embrace. Danny ran her right hand soothingly up and down Mattie’s back, using her left hand to lightly massage Mattie’s neck. “Sh-She’s gone…” Mattie sobbed. Danny felt her heart stop as thoughts began racing through her mind.

_No… no. There is no way Carmilla’s dead. She wouldn’t leave me like that… we have too much left to do in our lifetime. I refuse to believe it._

Danny guided Mattie back down to the chairs, offering the crumpled up napkins she found in her pocket to Mattie. As agonizing as it was, she waited for Mattie to regain her composure and provide more details.

“Lilita-- Mom… she and Carm were on their way home from the courthouse,” Mattie started. Danny nodded her head in understanding. She knew today was adoption day. She had a small surprise party planned with their friend’s Laf and Perry the next night at Carmilla’s favorite restaurant.

“Bad wreck,” Mattie continued, drawing Danny’s attention back to her. “They… they were… god, the word “hit” doesn’t even do what happened to them justice,” Mattie angrily spat.

Danny was starting to lose her patience. She needed to know what happened to Carmilla, and she needed to know NOW. She was just about to open her mouth to urge Mattie to continue when Mattie quietly muttered two of the most hauntingly terrifying words of their short lives:

“Mom’s dead.”

Present Day

Carmilla stayed away from the bonfire because of the horribly painful scar tissue stretched across her abdomen. Hell, she stayed away from large fires in general due to the panic attacks sometimes induced from the wreck last summer. Had it only been a year?

As they sat on the edge of the bowl watching their friends act crazy, Carmilla closed her eyes and took a slow, deep breath. When she finally opened them again, she turned to Danny with a determined look.

“I’m going to the bonfire.”

* * *

 

Carmilla neared the bonfire and trudged through the sand over to Laf and Perry. She had to chuckle as Laf was doing their best to take samples from certain cheerleaders “for experimentation only” while Perry hovered around, clucking at them to be on their best behavior. Glancing over Laf’s shoulder a bit in the distance, Carmilla sought out the real reason she’d been drawn into joining this madness. She noticed Laura sitting next to her friends; she was wearing a navy sweatshirt with tattered blue jean shorts, which Carmilla had to admit really accentuated her muscular legs. She noticed Laura didn’t seem terribly interested in whatever topic the Brat Pack was discussing… rather, Laura seemed to be scanning the crowd as if she were looking for someone specific. Carmilla caught Laura’s eye during the next scan and lifted an eyebrow, smirking at the cheerleader.

Their gazes held for a few moments across the flames and suddenly Carmilla was acutely aware of the heat on her face - whether from the fire or from the way Laura’s hair fell in golden layers around her face, she was no longer sure. Feeling bold from her triumph of coming closer to the bonfire, Carmilla picked up an unused blanket near Laf and Perry’s things and stood up. She looked back to Laura, who was still watching her, sitting still as a stone surrounded by a slow motion blur of the party. Carmilla gestured with a nod of her head toward the beach, silently asking Laura to follow her. For a split second she was terrified Laura would turn away and pretend the whole exchange never happened, but then she stood up as well, her bare feet sinking into the sand.

Carmilla turned and walked further down the beach away from the bonfire, away from the insane nature of the cheerleaders and band geeks, away from everything. As she spread out the blanket and settled down onto it, she glanced up at the stars. She hadn’t been sitting for long before she heard Laura approaching her. Carmilla smiled internally and said “Hey there, Cupcake,” which, of course, annoyed Laura to no end, but Laura said nothing.

Carmilla arched an eyebrow. “Laura Hollis. Speechless for once? Let me write this moment down in history.”

Ignoring the sarcasm, Laura took a seat on the blanket next to Carmilla, who was swirling her fingers through the sand with a distant look on her face. Laura placed her camera bag gently on the blanket, then dug her feet into the sand and rested her arms on her knees. Turning her head to look at Carmilla, Laura observed her furrowed brow and aloof vibe. Somehow, though, Laura knew she wasn’t bothering her.

Carmilla could feel her heart beating faster than usual when Laura sat down next to her on the blanket. Laura’s leg brushed against Carmilla’s and she gasped silently at the touch. Laura didn’t seem to notice. The two sat in silence, enjoying the quiet sound of the waves crashing upon the shore, each lost in her own thoughts.

Carmilla continued swirling her fingers through the sand, randomly picking it up and lightly pouring the sand onto Laura’s leg. She enjoyed watching the coarse sand cascade down Laura’s silky leg. The act was so innocent, and yet so intimate at the same time.

As the last few grains of sand trickled through her fingers, Carmilla sighed and laid back on the blanket, again staring up at the stars. It was such a beautiful sight; probably her favorite place to be was on the beach at night, stargazing. Laura leaned back on her elbows and studied Carmilla’s face. Her hand was itching to grab her camera and take a shot of her serene expression. It wasn’t something easy to come by. Laura chose, instead, to scoot a bit closer to Carmilla, trying to see what she saw through her eyes.

Carmilla smiled a bit to herself. Through unfortunate circumstances, Laura had changed her life and she didn’t have a clue. Exactly one year after the wreck, and they had inadvertently found their way to each other. Carmilla knew Laura didn’t remember anything about the wreck. That was clear from the few conversations they had had since then. Sometimes, she felt Laura was the luckier one of the two. But then Carmilla would feel awful thinking such thoughts because her losing the memory of that day would mean losing a huge piece of her mother, and she was not prepared for that.

“Looking at the stars… it’s comforting to think how small we are in comparison… all the lives we’ve led, the people we’ve been…” Carmilla mused, snapping Laura out of her thoughts. Laura looked over at Carmilla, giving a shy smile, as she laid down completely on the blanket, head on Carmilla’s shoulder, gazing at the stars. A surprising moment of peace coursed through her.


	7. The fire inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Laura lights up everything she touches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So excited about this chapter. This is our Laura as we imagine her - a little wary, a little closed off, but unable to keep from throwing sparks. We hope you enjoy.

Laura remembered the first time a guy had tried to get her alone at a party. She was 13, and she’d snuck out of her house at midnight to join her friends at a high schooler’s rager. The music was bumping at a level she was sure would slowly move the furniture out of place. 

She’d made an effort to look what she hoped equated to “sexy.” She put on a sequined halter (one her mother would find later and throw out) and her tightest pair of dark skinny jeans. A bit of her toned stomach was showing, which she thought might make her look fun and flirty. She’d pulled off a decent smokey eye and left her hair loose so it framed her face in golden waves.

Though she never felt as sexy as the outfit was meant to convey, she supposed it had worked. Two drinks in, Chad Housman grabbed her hand and pulled her up the stairs because he wanted to “show her something.”

One awkward grope and subsequent drink in his face later, Laura was bounding down the stairs and out the door.

That experience stayed with her, changed her, affected her movements. It made her apply flirtation carefully and with purpose, using it as a defense, a weapon, and sometimes an offensive strike.

But now there was this girl.

This slim, curly-headed, weirdly confident girl. Laura saw her across the bonfire (where did she even come from?) and was immediately transfixed. They hadn’t even spoken yet tonight, but Carmilla was picking up a blanket, silently calling to her. And Laura, god help her, was following.

A lot went through Laura’s mind as she stood, feeling the sand move beneath her bare toes. That party with Chad, the awkward spin the bottle kiss with her best friend when she was 14, the talks with her friends about their love lives that always somehow seemed distant to her, as if she was hearing about them through a thick pane of glass. 

But then there was this girl. This girl trickling sand down her leg, innocently cascading into her personal space, and she was sitting there willingly, feeling the barrier weakening. 

Before she even knew what was was doing, her head was on Carmilla’s shoulder and they were staring up at the stars and it all felt so… romantic. The barrier was definitely breaking and she felt a cold jolt of fear, so she did what always worked best in these situations. Laura sat up and disconnected their contact, but put on her best flirtatious smile. Pretty and engaging, but distant.

“You know, you invite me to 'eat' under the bleachers and now you lure me away from my friends for late-night beach stargazing,” Laura mused out loud, pretending to ponder the implications. “You're so gay," she concluded.

Carmilla rolled onto her side and put her hand to her chest in mock-offense. 

“That is just so hurtful, I would never LURE you anywhere,” she laughed. The laughter quickly died down to a smile and she glanced downward. “I am, though,” Carmilla said quietly.

“You are what?” Laura asked quizzically. 

“Really gay,” Carmilla said and burst into laughter again. This time Laura joined her, and the tension of the moment before was broken.

“How did you know, though?” Laura said.

Carmilla looked out at the ocean, reassured by the steady crash of the waves. 

“There was a crush I had when I was younger,” she said vaguely. She glanced nervously at Laura. “I guess I just felt something I’d never felt before. I just knew.” 

Carmilla seemed lost in her own thoughts for a minute, remembering. Something tugged at Laura’s insides and for a reason she didn’t want to examine too closely, she didn’t care for the sight of Carmilla reminiscing about an old crush.

“I think there’s just this… fire,” Laura said, drawing her attention back.

“...fire?” Camilla asked. She sounded unsure. Carmilla turned to watch Laura’s face as she spoke. 

“Yeah. Fire. I hear my friends talk about it. You see it in movies, you read about it, Stephanie Meyer became a millionaire by describing it,” she continued. Carmilla was transfixed. She sensed Laura was opening up to her, and she froze, terrified any wrong move would ruin the moment.

“I just… I know what it’s supposed to feel like. It’s that thing where you see someone, and every nerve in your body is burning. Every single move you make feels like you’re striking a match. And you are so attracted to someone that you absolutely feel like you might die if they don’t touch you. You’re so desperate for them that you almost want it to be hard and rough and quick.”

Laura’s voice had become husky and dropped into a dangerously low register. “You want them to roll on top of you and press you down and break you open. Like you just know that if they touch you even once, just the right way, you’ll be on your knees, willing to do… anything.”

“So that’s what I mean by ‘fire’,” Laura concluded. She looked over to judge Carmilla’s reaction. “Do you know what I mean?” she asked with a mischievous lilt. 

Carmilla, who had been playing with a corner of the blanket, dropped it about halfway through Laura’s sexually charged monologue and was just staring at her, mouth hanging open. She closed her mouth and opened it again, but was struggling to form words.

“Um, yeah, I… I think... I do,” Carmilla sputtered.

“I guess I’ve just never felt that,” Laura said, and she was back to her cheery, flirty self. “...yet,” she said, and she winked at Carmilla.

Laura stood up and regarded Carmilla carefully. She was dangerously close to a level of flirting that she couldn’t take back, and she knew that. But she was feeling emboldened by opening up to someone - something she hadn’t done in ages. Without breaking eye contact, she brought her slender fingers to the button on her cutoff shorts and popped them open. As she went for the zipper, Carmilla, to her credit, tried to stop her.

“Laura, wait, I…” she said quickly, holding up her hands. Her face looked panicked and Laura laughed.

“Wow, for someone who’s really gay, you sure are eager for me to keep my pants on,” Laura said, but quickly continued. “Relax you weirdo, I’m just getting in the water!”

Laura finished the zipper on her shorts and swiftly slid them down over tanned, muscular legs. She tugged her sweatshirt over her head and before Carmilla could even react, Laura Hollis, head Silas cheerleader, was standing in front of her in the dark in nothing but a very, very small pink bikini. The light from the bonfire covered her in a warm glow and threw shadows over her curves.

“So, so gay,” Carmilla said, unabashedly staring up at her. 

Laura laughed dismissively, but she liked the implied compliment. She liked it a little too much, maybe. It was time to make her exit. Laura turned and walked off into the darkness toward the waves, leaving Carmilla with a pile of discarded clothes and a fire burning inside her.


	8. The beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A walk on the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for waiting patiently as we took a break over the holiday. We're BACK!

Laura slowly sauntered back to shore. Carmilla gazed at Laura, silently gawking at the disheveled nature of her hair, her erect nipples pressing tight against her pink bikini top as water slowly slid down her body into areas hidden from Carmilla's view.

"...down the beach."

Carmilla shook her head to snap herself out of her stupor. "Sorry Cupcake, what did you say?" a red-faced Carmilla asked.

Laura smirked, enjoying the effect she was having on Carmilla. "I asked if you'd like to walk down the beach. I need to dry off."

Carmilla nodded and stood up, shaking out and folding the blanket before setting it back down on the ground. Laura reached down for her sweatshirt and frowned as the stench of beer reached her nostrils and wetness seeped onto her fingers. She looked questioningly at Carmilla.

“Did you make a mess while I was away?”

The gleam of mischief in her eyes was unmistakable. Carmilla was starting to like being teased by Laura Hollis. Carmilla rubbed her hand behind her head sheepishly.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, there was some run-by spillage while you were in the water. I think LaF might be drunk enough that there’s more beer on your shirt than in their cup at this point,” Carmilla said.

Thankfully, Laura laughed. “That sounds about right. It’s fine, not your fault,” she said.

As the girls walked down the moonlit beach, Carmilla couldn't help stealing glances at Laura when she wasn't looking. She took in Laura's beauty, the way her eyes sparkled when catching the moonlight. Her smile was so warm and felt like home to Carmilla, as strange as that seemed. Lost in thought, Carmilla almost missed Laura’s slight shiver as the wind gusted. Carmilla stopped momentarily, slid off her signature flannel and instinctively slipped it over Laura's shoulders.

Laura's breath hitched at the gesture. “Thank you,” she said.

Carmilla stretched her arms above her head a few times after removing the shirt. Laura thought she noticed a scar of some sort on Carmilla's stomach, but Carmilla quickly pulled her shirt down and gazed off into the distance.

"No worries, sweetheart. I'll actually need this one back, though... just FYI," Carmilla said off-handedly.

Laura crossed her arms and used her hands to rub the soft flannel briskly in an attempt to muster up some more warmth. Carmilla's comment hung in the heavy sea air. She knew she’d never borrowed anything of Carmilla's before tonight… right?

Whatever. Carmilla clearly said things without much considering their meaning, like constantly referring to her as sweet edible treats. This girl had more nicknames for her than she’d had her entire life. She pushed the odd comment about the loaner shirt out of her head and refocused her attention on the feel of the sand and the sound of the waves. These things were solid, real. She liked things she could feel.

But then again, Laura could act on impulse as well. Without much thought, she looped her arm through Carmilla's and focused on how that felt. She felt her fingertips slide against Carmilla's now bare skin, felt the girl’s bicep slightly tense before slowly relaxing as they continued walking down the beach. Laura felt grounded.

"Passion." Carmilla mumbled. Laura glanced at her, question already on the tip of her tongue. Carmilla beat her to the punch.

"What you spoke of, that fire… it's passion. It's the way I feel whenever I discover a really great tune that I just have to jot down or finally nail a move on my skateboard I've been trying for months to get. It's like if you don't get this feeling out of you, the fire burning inside will kill you. But if you DO get it out, then that fire has the chance to spread beyond what you ever imagined, for better or worse."

Laura nodded. Carmilla got it. She knew Carmilla would. Laura couldn't explain it, but this feeling of closeness she felt with Carmilla somehow didn't scare her. She'd never experienced it before. Is this what it felt like to have a best friend? She was fascinated by Carmilla and her intense yet sincere nature.

“Would you let me photograph you?” Laura blurted without thinking. She watched Carmilla to gauge her reaction, but when she didn’t immediately respond, Laura rambled. “I mean, that’s when I feel it the most. When I feel like I can capture something real, something in motion, that’s when I feel passionate about taking photographs. And I think it would be cool to combine your passion for skateboarding with my love of-”

Carmilla looked absolutely pleased. “Yes, yes, sure thing sweetheart,” she said, and Laura looked visibly relieved. “That sounds like a date.”

Though it was just a lighthearted comment, Carmilla could feel distance open up between them once she uttered the word “date.” Laura dropped her hold on Carmilla's arm and kicked the sand a little as she walked. She recovered quickly though. She turned on that megawatt smile and tossed her hair over her shoulder with a distracting little flip.

“Stop trying to sneakily date me, Carmilla Karnstein,” Laura said, smiling. Carmilla rolled her eyes and smiled back but said nothing.

Before she knew what was happening, Laura was telling her friends she was getting a ride with Carmilla instead of piling back into Kirsch’s dorky old sedan. She steadfastly ignored their gaping disbelief and slid into the passenger seat of Carmilla's car. She glanced at the side mirror as she waited, watching as Carmilla loaded all of their beach stuff into the trunk of the Camaro. The car still smelled vaguely new and the leather had a gentle give underneath her. She ran her fingers over the various buttons glowing on the dashboard, and then poked around in the mess in the middle console.

She knew she was being nosy, but she didn’t think Carmilla would mind. She picked through a cupholder full of receipts, Starbucks drink stirrers, and a few scattered pens and pencils.

Carmilla startled her by opening the driver’s side door and she jumped. “Hey!” Laura said.

“Find anything interesting?” Carmilla asked, her one eyebrow raised in amused suspicion.

“Just a bunch of crap some messy chick left all over this fancy new car,” Laura said.

“Not THAT new,” Carmilla corrected. “Though I do admit to the messy part.”

“Sometimes messy’s good,” Laura said, and Carmilla stared at her for a second. Laura smiled and blinked those long eyelashes, then giggled as she ran a hand through the beachy waves of her hair. Carmilla looked away, revved the engine and swung the car out of her parking spot quickly before she leaned in and made a real mess of this new thing with Laura Hollis.


	9. The Tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura's thoughts after the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for your patience. The lack of updates is most certainly my fault-- I lost my job in November and just started a new job teaching high school at the beginning of January. It's been super chaotic for me and I have put our story so behind. Things are starting to settle down for me and I will do my absolute best to have my new chapter posted next Friday for you guys!
> 
> Thanks again and we love you all and thank you all for your support with our story!
> 
> \--natvanlips

Chapter 9  
Facing Carmilla on her doorstep at 2:30 in the morning, Laura felt like she might be starting to lose her mind. Surely her sanity was slipping - that was the only explanation for the way her body was betraying her right now. The magnetic pull she felt was daring and obvious and Laura thought for sure that Carmilla must notice the tilt of her head, the glance down at her lips, and the slight lean closer than was warranted.

Laura did not pine. In fact, she strived to live her life as fully as possible, which she considered the opposite of pining. How was it only days ago that she’d showed up for camp normal as ever, with absolutely nothing distracting her from her summer goals? But here she was stalling outside her own dormitory door, desperate to be kissed.

She thought seriously about inviting her in - all the ridiculous cliches they’d shared tonight were clearly working their movie magic and she was swept up in a firestorm of wanting. Get it together, Hollis.

“So this is me,” Laura said, and she leaned forward on the balls of her feet as she rolled her bottom lip between her teeth. She could feel the energy between the two of them drawing her in closer to Carmilla. “I had a really nice time tonight, Carmilla… thank you,” Laura softly said.

Blushing, Carmilla nervously smirked as she played with the hem of the flannel Laura still had wrapped around her. “Well cutie, we’ll have to do it again some time,” Carmilla said.

Leaning further in, Laura’s voice dropped down several octaves as she said, “I look forward to that.” Laura hovered close, close enough to smell something earthy and warm and completely Carmilla. For the second time tonight, she knew she was toeing the line of what was appropriate for this situation. Undressing on the beach had been enough of a tease, surely. But her body was moving now almost out of her control. She slowly slung one arm around Carmilla’s shoulders, pulling her even closer. Laura leaned in slowly, her eyes darting from Carmilla’s mouth to her startled eyes back to her mouth. Laura placed a soft kiss just on the corner of her lips, lingering longer than she should have.

Laura finally pulled back and saw that Carmilla’s face held no reaction at all. She just stared, seemingly awestruck. Laura gave her shoulders one final squeeze and then entered her dorm room, shutting the door softly behind her.

 

The Saturday after the bonfire dawned bright, warm and California-perfect. Laura stretched her arms above her pillow and felt the nice pull of her stomach muscles as she yawned. She could hear Betty still snoring softly across the room.

She allowed herself a moment to feel the emotional repercussions of the previous night. She’d willingly gotten into Carmilla Karnstein’s car, in front of all of her cheerleading buddies, and sped away from a raucous party into the unknown night. When she left a party with someone, it was the kind of thing people noticed. When you left a party with a band nerd in her seriously hot black sportscar, people really noticed.

When you didn’t even bother texting your friends that you made it home because you were too distracted by the sight of Karnstein’s long fingers gripped tight against the steering wheel, well… that started to sound like a different problem altogether.

Laura rolled over on her side to face away from Betty, as if she needed to hide her train of thought from her friend.

What had really happened though? She tried to reason with herself. Nothing. They’d hung out on the beach, linked arms for a few moments, Karnstein had given her a flannel to wear… ah shit, she thought as she looked down at herself.

She’d stumbled in tired and a little buzzed. She had changed from her cutoffs and bikini bottoms into some small cotton sleep shorts, but her top half was still covered by her bikini top and Karnstein’s shirt. If Betty woke up even slightly more sober than she’d been last night, Laura’s state of dress would look pretty incriminating.

She stood up quietly before Betty had a chance to regain consciousness and padded over to change. She dropped the shirt onto her bed and smiled to herself. All those cheesy one-liners guys loved to use on her - nice shirt babe, but I think it would look better on my floor - and suddenly she was overwhelmed with happiness seeing Karnstein’s shirt there instead of some guy’s. She didn’t want to examine that one too closely - that was enough ruminating on her feelings for this beautiful of a Saturday. She threw on her workout clothes, grabbed her headphones, and bounded out the door.


	10. Memory of a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it's been a terribly long time. I (natvanlips) have had a rollercoaster of events happening in my life. I am hoping that now that things have smoothed out and I'm in my new school year (I'm a high school teacher) that I should be able to update more! As always, I appreciate the PATIENCE of my lovely best friend and co-author, elisebaeman, who has been waiting for me to update my part since January.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it-- and leave us comments. I hope you guys are still out there. :)
> 
> Songs used this chapter:  
> Metallica - Fuel  
> Lee Ann Womack - Have You Seen That Girl

“What took you so long?” Laura asked in a sultry voice upon hearing Carmilla open and shut her dorm door. Carmilla smirked at Laura, “Just trying delayed gratification, cutie.” Laura giggled and moved slowly toward Carmilla, leaving a trail of pink bikini bottoms, cutoff shorts, and a soft pink bikini top. Staring at Laura wearing only the flannel Carmilla loaned her on the beach ignited something primal from within the depths of Carmilla. Grabbing Laura, Carmilla threw her up against a wall, trailing kisses up her neck. “Do you know how wild it drives me to see you in my clothes?” Carmilla panted as she slowly slid her left hand up the inside of Laura’s silky smooth right inner thigh…

_Gimme fuel gimme fire gimme that which I desire…!_

Carmilla bolted up from bed, panting, as her alarm continued blaring out her go-to Metallica song. Stumbling across the room she found her cell phone (what was it doing over here…?) and turned off her alarm. Shaking the fuzziness from her head she breathed a sigh of… relief… would one deem that the correct word? She was just dreaming about Laura. This wasn’t good, though. She was falling hard for that honey blonde cheerleader and the fact Laura had no recollection of their past and how their lives are intertwined really bothered Carmilla.

The sun was glaring down on the field as the band campers stopped to do another take in their formation. Day 2 of week 1 and already Carmilla was feeling the 3-a-day practices throughout her body. The weight of the alto saxophone added to the already heavy emotional weight on her shoulders. Her mind was flying with thoughts of Laura… of the brief kiss after their night of star-gazing on the beach… of the completely R-rated dream she was having about her favorite cheerleader earlier this morning. Lost in thought, Carmilla completely missed her mark in the new formation and marched backwards into a cheerleader waiting on the sidelines.

“Hey, what the fuck do you think you’re doing? Don’t touch me, dyke!” spat SJ. Carmilla stood up, checking her alto sax for damage, as Betty sauntered up to her and pushed her down again. “You know, you should learn to stay with your own kind. You band geeks are nothing more than the scum of the earth. You belong on the ground, at our feet.” 

Feeling her anger boil inside, Carmilla was in mid-reply when Betty suddenly joined her on the ground, wincing. “Hey, Tits for Hire, if you ever lay a hand on my friend, or any other person again, you will sorely regret it.” A feeling of relief washed over Carmilla. Danny to the rescue again. She was thankful for the intervention… only Danny knew how unpredictable Carmilla’s response to this type of situation could be. They both knew she suffered PTSD from the crash. Pulling Carmilla up, Danny cast one final glare at the two cheerleaders before walking off.

“I know I don’t have to say it... but thanks, Xena,” Carmilla quietly said. Danny just looked straight ahead, waiting for Carmilla to finish. “All I could see was red… I felt all of this rage bottled up inside of me about to unleash… I don’t know what I might have done, Dan… I really don’t.” 

Nodding, Danny gave Carmilla a side hug. “Dude, I know. I could tell by your body language. You aren’t here today… I’m not sure what, or WHO, is clouding your mind today but you have got to get yourself together. We need you to lead us and if you aren’t here mentally as well as physically then we don’t stand a chance to win the summer competition and I’ll be damned if we lose just because we weren’t mentally checked in.”

Carmilla sighed and nodded. She knew Danny was right. She also knew that she needed time alone to recharge and get control of her emotions.

Walking into the room she shared with Danny, Carmilla took a quick shower and dressed in her signature look - dark jeans, dark shirt, dark pants - all black. Like the way her soul felt most of the time. Slinging her backpack over her left shoulder, she grabbed her car keys and hurried out the door. Arriving at the skatepark, Carmilla felt a sense of familiarity wash over her. Today wasn’t about skating… no. Today was about being at her favorite place… in her element… listening to the waves crash against the seawall… feeling the vibrations in the bowl she sat a top from the skaters practicing their moves. Being alone, the way she liked it when she was feeling so… emotionally vulnerable. Opening her Moleskine, Carmilla took a deep breath and began writing the words that had been nagging her mind and pulling on her heart strings all day.

 _Have you seen that girl_  
_That everybody says I used to be_  
_Have you seen that girl_  
_Where along the way did I lose me?_  
_Have you seen that girl_  
_She was full of life_  
_Looked on the brighter side_  
_If it was worth a chance she'd take it_  
_Said that life is what you make it_


End file.
